Saying your wedding vows is always the most intimate part of the wedding ceremony and, as a Whistler wedding officiant, I have the opportunity to coach many couple’s on how to write wedding vows, their preparation, what to think about as they consider what to include or not include, and the tone and feel of what to expect as they speak these words of life into one another.
A few years ago the tables were turned as I had to consider writing my own vows. Now this wasn’t the first time I’ve had to write my vows; my beautiful wife and I were celebrating our fifteen-year wedding anniversary and we decided to re-new our vows while on a trip to Italy.
We had a beautiful and amazing time, shed some tears with one another, and enjoyed a very romantic and meaningful time together. It seemed that every phrase and sentence was filled with life and was literally dripping with meaning and depth. It’s a moment I think we’ll both cherish for the rest of our lives.
For us, missing this moment or copy & pasting someone else’s vows wouldn’t have felt right. Words are powerful and the wrestle with what to say and how to say it definitely contributed to the significance of our vow renewal.
Here are the three elements I was thinking about as I wrote my vows.
I Remember…
Here I wanted to honor and remember our history together. It was so much fun going through the catalogue of memories together and enjoying them together.
- “I remember when we first met….and this happened…and wow, can you believe it?!”
- “I remember that time when that crazy thing happened, and there we ended up together, just you and me.”
- “And do you remember this time and that event, those were huge for me, for us.”
- “And I remember when I first fell in love with you…we were here, you said this and were wearing that, and this happened…..and that’s when I knew.”
Here is Why I Love You…
Here I just started listing what I love, how I love, and why I love this woman who has completely turned my life upside-down and inside-out. Funny thing happened in this process: I learned about ways & whys I love my wife that I never knew until I actually wrote them down. Kinda cool.
These Are My Promises, My Vow to You…
Moving from these affirmations of love for my wife, I then moved into the actual wedding vows.
- “I promise to do this….”
- “I promise to be this kind of man, this kind of father to our kids…”
- “I vow to do this & that…”
- “I vow to be this & that….and I will do this and be this forever, with every breath…through the dark shadows of night and the bright sunshine of day…this is my promise to you.”
Photo by Leah Kathryn Photo
How to write wedding vows is not complicated, but it does take some searching of your heart and of your relationship. Weigh your thoughts, consider your words, and bring them to life on your wedding day as you speak life into your partner.
If you’re someone who would like some additional coaching or help in crafting your wedding vows, please feel free to contact me and I’d be very happy to walk with you through some of the process and ask you some questions to help clarify what you’d like to say in your wedding vows.
Huge congrats to you as you enjoy this season of engagement and preparation for your wedding day!
Have a remarkable day,
-Jer